The Mesonic Order

Clannad - Roaring Tides

2010-10-30T19:52:00.000-07:00

Breath of Fire, Sara's Ballad

2010-10-23T23:47:00.000-07:00

Off to College

2010-02-26T21:43:00.000-08:00

You walk with steady tread and eyes so clear;
I feel as if a god has come to dawn.
But I cannot but ask with quiet demure,
"Wherefore art thou going hither and yon?"

Wasted

2010-02-22T21:22:00.000-08:00

She is the goddess of my dreams,
My perfect star-crossed match.
But she is a little too perfect;
There has to be a catch.

She is the president of our math team,
Number one in the competitions.
She is the lead of our play
Because of her unbeatable auditions.
She is the ablest captain
Our soccer team ever had.
She is our school's valedictorian:
The best high school grad.

But what's this?
I see her drinking spirits,
Smoking smoke,
Wasting her life
On dope.

It's impossible to cope
With this lost hope.

Left or Right?

2010-02-21T13:03:00.000-08:00

From home, I left
And felt my decision right
As I turned so left,
I drove right, right...

Into a tree.
Right, as if every thing was left all right.
Wrong.

A Grave Night

2010-02-19T18:55:00.000-08:00

I walk out gazing at the moonlit sky

Under the vast starry sea.

I go out of my way to ask "Why?

Why am I not who I used to be?"

Never until now did I learn to cry,

Lost in this fatal darkness, unable to see,

But I sense the dark clouds looming by

Threateningly.

I trudge on, the evil mists burning mine eye,

The nightmarish hell mocking me.

I blink twice and perceive a form nigh,

And I realize it is he.

'Tis I who is watching myself die

Posthumously.

A Reminder

2010-02-15T21:52:00.000-08:00

It took me a while, but I think I'm finally starting to understand that I'm living a privileged life. Yes, of course I've heard on the news of people less fortunate than I: people in Haiti struggling to survive, family members who've lost their loved ones in 9/11, children in Africa starving to death. Still, I hardly give them a week's thought, and then I continue with my life, oblivious to their pains. I guess it's just that these stories seem so remote that I don't pay much attention to them. But after this weekend, I'll try not to be so wasteful with my life.

This Chinese New Year, my parents and I decide to go eat out at a Chinese restaurant. I stuffed myself full, satiating my hunger. I was content. Then, my mom asked for the bill, and the waiter, a young man of about 21 years old, came. He was soft-spoken with his kempt, light-brown hair brushed to one side. Nothing really out of the ordinary. I watched with a side-long glance as my mom paid the bill - and gave twenty dollars extra. I knew it was Chinese New Year, but a twenty-dollar tip seemed a bit much to give to a stranger considering my parents' frugality. The waiter politely refused the money, but my mom was insistent. He soon gave in, thanking profusely with a smile not of greed, but of genuine appreciation. I couldn't help but smile myself, yet, I was still a bit confused with the big tip.

My mom explained her actions. It ended up that the waiter was not a stranger at all, but an erstwhile coworker. He was born into a poor family in China. His parents divorced when he was still young. He and his mother managed get to America to try to make a new start. He had virtually no education, so he was forced to work as an unskilled laborer. He lives in a house full of cracks and leaks. His mother is weak with age and illness. He works for the sake of himself and his mother. One day, his mother fell and was pretty much crippled. His boss wouldn't let him leave work, for some strange reason. He resolved to get fired in order to help his mom. He didn't complain or anything; he just kept quiet. He doesn't have the luxury of an education, of a computer, of a good standard of living, and he isn't the only one. Throughout history and throughout the world, there were/are people just like him. There were/are people worse off than he is.

So here I am, at my computer, procrastinating. Wasting my life away. Complaining that I have too much homework to do. Bummed out because I'm not happy with my life. Hah - as if I have a right to say anything about that.

So maybe you've heard this same message over and over already. Don't take anything for granted, there's always someone worse off than you are, etc. Well, here's another reminder for you.

Diddly-squat

2010-02-15T00:30:00.000-08:00

Never mind.

Forget it.

I give up.

All that effort,

All those struggles,

For nothing.

Thanks a lot.

To you I probably mean

Diddly-squat.

A Broken Promise

2010-02-13T22:49:00.000-08:00

I remember my promise

Long ago

To never give up,

To never let go.

I tried to be optimistic

In my points of view,

But never did my optimism

Accrue.

So now I'm left trying

With no true goal.

So now I'm left striving

Without my heart which you stole.

But you are not to blame,

For I'm the one in shame...

Because I'm a geek,

I'm a freak;

I'm weak

And I'm meek.

The past wreaked;

The future's bleak.

And in the coming weeks

I will no longer seek

Happiness.

I Apologize

2010-02-11T20:55:00.000-08:00

I apologize

For bringing you down,

For having you deal with

My incessant frown.

I apologize

For all the harm I've caused,

For all the burden I've forced upon you.

I apologize

For being so blue.

I apologize

For knowing you.

Spam

2010-02-10T21:37:00.000-08:00

Spam used to be a delicacy.

It's saltiness was better than MSG.

But now, it refuses to leave me

Because I'm stuck making spamasubi.

Everywhere, spam, spam, spam.

Oh, what I'll do for a slice of ham

Or a chop of lamb.

The next time I look at spam,

I might just go "ka-blam."

No Regrets...

2010-02-09T22:44:00.000-08:00

I don't rue my short-term attention

Nor my nonexistent retention.

I don't regret my extreme size

Nor my impending demise.

I don't repent that one mistake

That made me lose all that was at stake.

But contrition strikes me in something in lieu,

and that is never saying, "I love you."

A/N: I don't think that's the way "in lieu" should be used. =.= All the other sentences I've searched up use "in lieu of" something. >.>

Love? Hah.

2010-02-07T20:50:00.000-08:00

I lived through life

Hoping for the best.

I thought I lived well

Until Fate gave me this test:

You came into my life

As a bully and a cheat.

You insulted me constantly

Until I knew defeat.

I tried to be your friend

But all in vain.

What I got instead

Was pain.

Finally I came to realize

That you weren't as bad as I thought.

It was a much greater evil

That you had somehow wrought,

For not only did you steal my lunch

And stuffed yourself full,

But you also stole my heart

And shattered it into shrapnel.

How I cannot hate you,

I know not.

How I can still love you -

Hah - I love you not.

Heaven-sent

2010-02-04T21:46:00.000-08:00

I was a hull of a human,

An empty shell.

I was too incorrigible,

For any magic to dispel.

I thought I would die

By drowning in sorrow.

I thought I wouldn’t live

After tomorrow.

Only by divine intervention

Can I hope to be saved;

A heaven-sent angel:

It is you who came.

For You

2010-02-01T00:03:00.000-08:00

I am sitting here idling away

Thinking of what I want to do,

But I can only think of one thing,

And that is to spend my life with you.

RxJ

2010-01-30T17:07:00.000-08:00

O Heartless Fate,

Your wish is cruel,

Attempting to sever the ties

Of these star-crossed lovers.

To die and lose your beloved

Or to live and lose the world:

O, why this spiteful ultimatum

To such a pure, passionate love?

Why, Fate, must you organize this stage set

For that of the love between Romeo x Juliet?